The moment I had my daughter, the pieces of my heart came together and I instantly knew that my calling in life was motherhood. The moment that I first held her, I realized there was no way that I would be doing anything that would take me away from her – as a mother, I was called the be there to nurture her, raise her, teach her, and watch her grow. My idea if what life would be like after she arrived went right out the window.
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Let’s rewind to my first pregnancy. This is the baby that I lost. I saw the heartbeat. I bonded with this baby. I went through labor when my pregnancy failed. I was absolutely heartbroken and did not understand why it was me. There were countless hours of grieving and it changed the way I was going to be a mother.
When I was pregnant with B, I had full intentions of resuming my ‘normal’ life. Babysitters were arranged after my extended leave if 12-16 weeks. My position was secured at work. I had a breast pump and all of the accessories to go with a pumping mom. I was planning on being a working mom.
And then God laughed at me. He allowed me the opportunity to listen and hear his plan for my motherhood. He wanted me to hear what he had arranged for me – my journey.
I had my daughter and instantly the pieces of my heart came together. I knew that it wasn’t my place to be away from her. I could provide the best care for her. And over my dead body would I lose her (because I already lost one). This was the love of my life – every question and doubt about where I was going in life was gone because I was meant to be a mom.
Now, I’d love to tell you from here, that I listened to this plan and went with the waves. But that would be too easy and that is totally against who I am. Because I like to think I am in control and that my plan is the right plan. Let’s reference, God laughed at me. I want to also reference my entrepreneurial and managerial background. CONTROL FREAK and a bit stubborn. I felt what God was throwing out when I had B, but I didn’t understand it.
In the first 24 hours of B being born, my postpartum anxiety kicked in. I started feeling like people wanted to steal my baby, I thought that I wasn’t good enough to comfort my daughter out of the womb. I got home and learned that was rockin’ the whole mom thing. But I didn’t want help, because I thought people were going to steal my daughter, that people were going to report me to CPS for lies, I started to doubt my ability to be a wife. My PPA started having bouts of PPD.
Move forward to 8 weeks postpartum. I went to St. Louis with my husband and B. I was stressing about going back to work. It felt wrong. My husband was telling me I didn’t have to go back. But I am stubborn and I was creating a horrible mental state for myself. Luckily, this trip was an intervention, and I explored STL – on my own with B – and I had never flown solo (even to the store) with just her. And I met some stay at home moms. This was a game changer.
I wanted to work but I knew I’d have to get creative with it. That trip is how my yoga, Baby+Me, came to be. It is also how I learned that I could work remotely and become a freelancer. This is how I became to heal my PPA, through motherhood, yoga, and working from home.
Initially, I started with remote work. I talked with my boss and she was agreeable to having me in office 1-2 days a week for a half shift and doing the rest from home. Then it became more remote and I began teaching more yoga. It was getting me by but I wanted to be at home, those 4-8 hours I was gone weekly were still ripping me apart. I needed to be at home. That is when I started exploring freelancing. I have a background in administration, management, and business development. I also am a licensed cosmetologist and worked in the health and wellness field for years! My skill set was a great asset and people wanted me.
I was getting clients here and there but I wanted a steady income. After weeks of praying, I came across Micala Quinn’s Live Free Mama Group. I was getting great advice and resources but I wanted more. Finally, I bit the bullet and jumped into her program, Overwhelmed to Overbooked. I want you to read this next part carefully. I QUIT MY JOB WITHIN 3 MONTHS OF TAKING THIS COURSE. I am not joking in the slightest. Her program has everything mapped out, even for the beginner of beginners.
This course covers every step to take and breaks down each section, and it is the ONLY course I have ever taken that doesn’t leave you feeling lost and overwhelmed. It covers how to identify your services, how to build your business, where to find your clients, how to do business legally, and more. There is SO MUCH MORE. There is also an amazing private group that goes with the group that provides the utmost support and it allows for great exclusive resources other freelancers don’t get.
I am now over 1 ½ years into full-time freelancing. I am making double what I did in my office position. My ‘full time’ hours are 10 hours a week – naptime and an hour in the morning or evening, here or there. I am with my daughter when she wakes up, I get to take her to all of her activities, put her down for her nap, play in the afternoon, and put her to bed. I don’t have to request off time for doctors appointments and sick days. We can do fun stuff whenever we want. I also have time to be a wife, a homemaker, a teacher, and myself. I HAVE TIME FOR SELFCARE (I finish my coffee every morning).
I would not be here, living this life, without the blessing of my daughter, the blessing of PPA, and the blessing of Micala Quinn’s Overwhelmed to Overbooked. Really, the credit is all to the man upstairs, throwing this journey at me, but all of these are definitely crucial parts of my journey to motherhood.
Whether you are a mom wanting to break from the 9-5, a mom not wanting to spend your whole paycheck on childcare, a mom not wanting to leave her kids…or if you are a stay at home mom wanting to pull in some extra money, a mom wanting to create a side hustle, freelancing is a great option and Overwhelmed to Overbooked is the perfect course to guide you through!
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