While on our early morning Target run, I saw this mom pushing a kid free cart, drinking her Starbucks, and taking her time looking at the fantastic Magnolia collection. It briefly crossed my mind to do the same thing but I was on a time crunch trying to get done before B decided she couldn’t handle anymore shopping – motherhood at it’s finest. Pushing forth through the aisle, B and I are chatting back and forth, playing games to keep her in the cart, and we run smack dab into Kid Free Mom!
“How old is she?” She asked. “Mine is 8 months. She is sleeping…so I snuck out to Target. Now I miss her…so now I am going home.” (Kid Free Mom, we could be best friends.)
Thank you. This to some, would be considered awkward conversation. To me, this is every kid free outing and I’m not in solidarity. I enjoy my ‘me’ time but there is a point where I’m ready to go back to being a Mom.
It took me the better part of 13 months to understand that my true calling and job is being a mom. My husband has tried to nicely tell me this as well but I’ve tuned out the real message. My mom has interjected and said, trust that God will have Z (hubby) provide for us and focus on being a mom. I’ve even created Baby+Me, a yoga class for Momma’s to reconnect with their body and breath while bonding with their littles, so I could spend more time being a Mom to B.
But I am a creature of habit. I tried to fill my anxiety, depression, and hole (which was from not validating myself in motherhood) with work. When I would delve into work, I had my focus split between B and tasks. I was not being as mindful or inventive with my time with B either. The OTHER kicker was that my husband was not included in this equation. That meant being a wife had gone out of my sight.
When the miracle of sickness struck our house, circumstances had me cut my work hours and tend to B. The house was being kept up, dinners were making it to the table, and the void I had tried to fill suddenly felt full. I had new found excitement to help B grow through her tantrums and new experiences. My marriage felt comfortingly strong. I was also able to focus on my class and work on getting it out into the community.
It’s a miracle because otherwise I would have continued my not so productive path. I also, finally, have found the validation in being a mother, a wife, and myself. If you are receiving those loud messages, listen to them. Don’t doubt your worth – try to embrace the gifts in front of you.
If you are looking for a community of like-minded Momma’s who want to reconnect with their body and breath, get outdoors with the littles, and embrace motherhood, join Momma Camping’s Facebook Group.
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